Kobe: South African Shark?

 per The Player’s Tribune

“On March 19, 1999, Iverson put 41 points and 10 assists on me in Philadelphia.

Working harder wasn’t enough.

I had to study this man maniacally.

I obsessively read every article and book I could find about AI. I obsessively watched every game he had played, going back to the IUPU All-American Game. I obsessively studied his every success, and his every struggle. I obsessively searched for any weakness I could find.

I searched the world for musings to add to my AI Musecage.

This led me to study how great white sharks hunt seals off the coast of South Africa.”


Kobe Bryant is a maniac.

We all know this, but I’m going to take an atypical approach on this one;

We’re supposed to just take this as fact, because it supports everything we “know” already about Kobe Bean Bryant. Tenacious. Methodical. Unwavering.

Self Made Man.

Now, I have no way to PROVE this, but this all feels so fabricated to me. This expose was written by Bryant himself, the man who gave himself his own Black Mamba nickname. The subject of some of the most obscure, narcissistic, head scratching Nike commercials of all time. This stream of conscious style “report” fits too cleanly into the Kobe “mold” to be anything other than targeted advertising.

Oh, and what’s this on the bottom? A commercial? Posted TODAY? For BODYARMOR? What’s that? Oh, a company Kobe invested an estimated $4-6 MILLION in?

and the tagline is “Obsession is Natural”

No it isn’t Kobe, its a tad bit rapey

Oh, and, Kobe, Great White Sharks in South Africa are headed towards extinction. Great choice for your hastily thought out marketing campaign.

Bill Burr said it best:

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