Pizza Essay gets Girl into Yale?

Via Twitter

So this girl wrote an essay about how she loves to order Papa Johns for her college essay to Yale and we’re told she got in. I’m calling:

Lets take a look. The essay SUCKS. The vocabulary is smaller than Trump’s hands, the metaphors are hairless Samson weak, the structure is Frank Loyd Wright’s Fallingwater, in that it is watered down and easily put in a box.  Yale would have to be HURTING for students to even consider this non-creative drivel. Also, is it just me, or do the fonts on the header look cut and paste?

Yale.png

This is also Dean of Admissions Jeremiah Quinlan’s signature from a blog where he literally talks about essay writing for Yale, and this one doesn’t fit.

Yale sig.png

Also, and more damning “her” Twitter was made just LAST MONTH, and already only contains pandering tweets to things like Jimmy Fallon and Chick-Fil-A.

And the biggest thing is, get this, she’s supposedly going to AUBURN! Nothing against Auburn, #WarEagle, and sure Yale aint cheap, and sure there could be several mitigating factors that could cause someone not to go to Yale, the #1 reason being that the story is fake. None of this makes any sense, except if it’s all a scam looking for free shit.

Carolina Williams

And honestly I sincerely hope it is. Because if it isn’t and this girl (obviously the one on the right [multiple girls in a picture rule always states it’s the less attractive one]) and she’s following her sister? friend? to Auburn, have fun when she gets into a sorority and begs them to accept you too, only to make you the odd girl out and you find out you were only friends because you lived down the street from each other and weren’t actually that tight.

Tale as old as time

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