NBD: Immortality is a thing now

Via Twitter

Soooo, we did it? We’re good now? We’re all Gods? Immortality is a thing? Or at the very least Zombies are totally a possibility. That’s what TV and movies have always lead me to believe. They always check the heartbeat before you’re pronounced dead. It’s always the steady beat of the heart monitor in the hospital before it flat lines. Now I’ve been told I know nothing, but if your heart beats indefinitely, you can never die, that logic is sound.

Now this is the time smart people may think, your heart only pumps blood, your body is a far more complex system than that, Spenny. And to that I would respond, sure, Science Bitch, that’s why I started the article with the zombie scenario.

See, got it covered, thank you very much. Now obviously this technology will originally most likely be reserved for the wealthy, famous, and super elite, but top Voodoo Economists (I feel like you don’t actually need to be educated to be one so I’m citing myself here) figure it has to trickle down eventually. And when that day comes, I for one can’t wait for over population to hit and we have to engage in population control by single combat.

Immortal Mel Gibson is still going to be drunk and anti-Semitic, and consecutive life sentences for hate crimes will now be no big deal. It’s only a matter of time before world scale gladiatorial games will be a thing a again. After all, there can be only one. Wait a minute, that’s not a Game of Thrones reference…

 

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