Owls: Deadlier than ever

Spenny

Legitimately terrifying. Hey, someone told me you sounded like an owl Who? Got eem! What do you call a baby owl swimming? A moist owl-ette.

Okay, but seriously. We already know owls are some of the deadliest predators out there. Nocturnal, silent killers. If watching an owl do anything, you’re not instantly filled with pensive terror, well then it’s too late.

Hitchcock couldn’t direct something as ominous and horrifying. Stoic feathered assassins. Sure, the owl is no Katie Ledecky (points for the female empowering reference over the played out obvious Phelps one, Aquaman passed on the conch shell, Micheal, get over it), but watch that video again and tell me that’s not deliberate. I’m reminded of the scene from The Other Guys:

That owl has a taste for blood. Let’s just hope it’s not human blood.

A man and his pet Owl walk into a bar. It’s about 5pm, but they’re ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other. Finally, the bartender says: “Last call.” So, the man says, “One more for me… and one more for my Owl.” The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the Owl falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave. The bartender, yells: “Hey buddy, you can’t just leave that lyin’ there.” To which the man replies: “That’s not a lion, that’s a Owl.”

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